Saturday, November 28, 2009

Santa's Reindeer

Today, we had fun at Christmas
on Main Street.
We met two of Santa's reindeer.
They were resting.
The kids were thrilled.
The visit with the reindeer inspired the kids
to make their Christmas lists.
Doodles wants
Pink "hi" heels.
The Big K. wants
a "mote" controlled car.
Kids are fun,
so are the holidays.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving Day

Last year, we had Thanksgiving at my
parents house.
My Mom had only been home from the hospital
for six days.
We'd just found out that she had more
cancer than first thought,
and that she might have a year to live.
Maybe two.
My brother was there. We did our
best to make that Thanksgiving fun.
It really was.
This year, Thanksgiving was only
15 days after my Mom died.
We tried to do something new.
We woke up early to participate
in the Run Walk to the Rescue.
It was a lot of fun.
I cried.
I missed my Mom.
The kids turned Kalea into
"Bat Dog".
She wore a cape.
That made me laugh,
then I cried.
Doodles lost a tooth
that had been loose on her birthday.
She was so proud.
All I could think was, I wish my Mom
were here to see this.
We ate a late afternoon meal.
We all missed Mom.
We all cried.
Then I thought how thankful I was that
she wasn't suffering.
That she meant so much to us,
we miss her when she's gone.
That she's in heaven with Jesus, and
I will see her again.
I thought how thankful I was for
my family.

I am so thankful that we

had last year together. We made that Thanksgiving

special, because we didn't know how many more

Mom would have. It turned out, last Thanksgiving was her last.

I think of all of the people in this world that have lost

someone that they love, that didn't have the blessing of

making a holiday special. Of making

a year special. Of saying all the things that needed

to be said. I am so Thankful for the time that I had with my Mom.

I miss her so much, but I'm so glad she isn't suffering.

I am so thankful that she left this world

knowing how much she was loved.

I am so thankful for my family. My husband, my kids.

They made me smile when I cried, made me laugh,

and were just the most wonderful

Thanksgiving blessing I could ever ask for.

Happy Thanksgiving from our family

to yours.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I Am Thankful For

Friends.
Going out together
was the best medicine we've had
in two
LONG weeks.
Watching the kids have fun, laugh,
and eat with their friends (and ours)
was GREAT!!
Fun. Working on Thanksgiving
crafts for
tomorrow.
Family.
My husband is a GREAT
father.
My Dad. Doing his
best to get through each and every day.
Knowing how important he is to all
of us right now.
I am thankful for so many
things.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Run

Every day they beg me to lace them up and run.
I stick my head under my covers
and I say, "No way. My Mom is gone. I
want to sleep. I REALLY don't want
to run."
Today, when they begged, I put them on.
I ran. I ran. I ran.
I felt so much better, as
my head cleared, my body strained.
I out ran cancer and death.
I thought of the verse,
"Run without ceasing the race set before us."
Today, I started the race that the Lord
has put before me.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Life is Sweet(s)

One plate of dessert served by
Papa...
Oh how sweet is life for my
little sweet.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Saturday With Kids

Before kids, Jon and I used to stay out really,
really late on Friday nights. We would sleep
in on Saturday mornings. Oh how
kids change all of that.
This morning we enjoyed breakfast out
with my Dad at one of our favorite diners.
After breakfast,
we headed to Lowe's so that
the kids could participate in Build And Grow.
After Build and Grow, it was off to a new
indoor mini-golf place.
The golf place is all in
black light.
It's the first time the kids have ever been
mini golfing.
They loved it.
There were golf balls flying everywhere.
Dad came with us, and boy did we all have fun.
After we were done golfing,
Jon added up the adult scores (the kids were so busy
scooting the balls that there was no way to keep track
of their score) and .....drum roll please.....
I BEAT JON AND DAD AT MINI GOLF!!!!
Jon seemed a bit surprised.
I say, "PGA, here I come."
Saturdays with kids are lots of fun.
Did I mention we did all of these things
before noon today!

Friday, November 20, 2009

If You Were Here

If you were here, I would tell you how
Pastor Sam drove all the way up here
to visit Dad. He brought the most delicious
Red Velvet Cake. You would have
loved it.
I would tell you how we put bird feeders
outside of our kitchen window.
I even used the one that you bought me for
my birthday a long time ago. We're having
so much fun watching the
birds (and squirrels) eating
the food.
I would tell you how Kim sent me the sweetest
card, and in it she put two pictures of her kids.
The first thing I wanted to do was show you their pictures.
They've gotten so big, but then I remembered you
were gone.
If you were here, I'd share with you
how Chris and Elaine sent us a package
from the popcorn factory.
The note attached made me cry.
It was so kind.
I would tell you how I bought tea called
Comfort and Joy, because that's
what I need right now.
I'm not even sure if I'll like it, but
I just need comfort and joy.
I would tell you all about the Adirondack Cheese shop.
You would have loved it, not just because of
the cheese, but because of all the
cute stuff the store had.
Dad bought lots of little candles
he thought you might enjoy.
I would tell you all about our trip to the Soda
Fountain. Even though you weren't there
with us, you were.
You were there in the dirty look that Doodles gave
Papa. You were there in the
silly paper folding the Big K. did.
We all looked at the booth that we sat in the last
time you were there with us, after the scenic railroad.
Doodles asked me to take a picture of mustard,
because it made her think of you.
Big K. ate lots of mustard because
you loved mustard.
But mostly, you were with us today
in our smiles, as we tried to
have fun without crying.
As we tried to make new memories
that don't exclude you, but include
you. As we all shared how much we miss you.
Mom, if you were here today, I would
share all of these things with you.
Mostly, I would tell you how much I miss you.
I would tell you that I wish you were back,
not sick, but how you were before the cancer.
I would tell you once again how very much I love
you.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Our Fun Field Trip

Today we went on a field trip to
a local fire house.
The firemen gave us a tour of their station,
and told us a bit about the history of this
particular fire house.
The whole time I thought how much Mom would have
loved this trip. She loved to learn.
Dad went with us, and had a great time
with the kids looking at all of the
stuff and listening to
the firemen.
The kids rang the bell on the truck, and declared
how much they loved our trip.
K. loved the "whole thing", not
just one part.
Doodles loved sitting inside the fire truck.
On the way home, they both let me know that they are
planning on becoming volunteer firemen when they
turn 18. I wish Mom were here
to share this with. Boy do I miss her.

Monday, November 16, 2009

One Day At a Time

Funny how life must go on. The sun rises
and sets. Each day takes me farther away from
my Mom.
Today, I saw the most beautiful bush while we were taking a walk.
I caught myself thinking, "Oh, Mom would love this."
She would have. So, I took a picture, because
I loved it too. I shared it with the kids,
and they loved it too.
The night of our adoption party,
we bought window crayons. We had planned to decorate
the window that was near Mom. That way she could look out
and see the pictures that the kids drew for her.
We practiced drawing on our own window.
The writing is still up. I can't
bring myself to wash away
Doodles writing "I love Oma".
I still look at it.
Yet life moves on. Yesterday, Doodles
buried herself in leaves.
I loved the way she looked in
her leaf nest.
I had to take a picture of it.
I know that if Mom could see
this, she would be smiling at Doodles, sitting
in her leaf nest.
She would be laughing as
two seconds after this picture,
the Big K. took a running jump into the sweet little leaf
nest, and Doodles started yelling,
"MOMMY!!! K. is ruining my leaves".
I'm glad that life goes on.