Wednesdays

Some days are harder than others.

There are days when I forget, for a minute,

that my Mom is gone. The other day, I was looking at the

wall hanging she made for Jon and

me on our anniversary.

For just one second I thought,

"I should call Mom. I haven't talked with

her in a while." Then I remembered,

there are no phones in heaven.

Other times the weight of loss

covers me like a blanket. My heart feels as if it is

literally broken apart.

I buckle from the pain of her really being gone.

The other day I heard the most beautiful song on KLove,

"Save a Place For Me" about a loved

one in heaven.

One line in the song, "I bet it feels good to have

the weight of this world off your shoulders now", reminded

me that Mom is no longer suffering.

Even that knowledge couldn't stop me from crying.

As the artist sang, "I'll be there

soon, I'll be there soon" all I could think of was

how much I wanted to be with my Mom.

Wednesdays are always hard days for me.

My Mom died on a Wednesday morning.

The "Today" show was on TV. I held her

hand as she took her last breath.

Wednesdays are hard. I've been through ten of them without

her. I know that I may travel through many more

Wednesdays without my Mom.

I hold the assurance that one day

Mom and I will be sitting in heaven.

We will talk like never before.

We'll never say good-bye again.

One of the last lines in the song I heard says,

"I want to live my life just like you did.

I want to make my home in the sky just like you did."

I pray that my life will make her proud.

And so, I work through the tenth Wednesday without

her. I miss her.

I can't wait until the day that we will be reunited again.

When we will make our home in the sky together.