Christmas Through Their Eyes

My Mom found out she was dying right before the holidays.

That Christmas time was really hard for all of us.

Sweet Jon did everything he could to think of ways

to help me feel better and to let me know that

our family would make it through.

That year was the first year that we went to see Lights on the Lake

with the kids.  Jon and I had gone, once, while we were dating.

That year, we decided to take our kids.

We planned on taking my Mom the next year.

She didn't live long enough to go.

We knew, that even without my Mom, Lights on the Lake was

a tradition that we would keep.

So just a few weeks after my

Mom died we took my Dad to see the lights. We cried.  We missed Mom.

This year, we went again.  It is a holiday tradition after all.

We had the privilege of bringing the two newest

members of our family.

P. and Baby J. got to experience our

family's tradition for the first time.

First it was out for dinner together. Then

we went to the dollar store for some candy.

You can't see Christmas lights without candy.

The boys were thrilled by the lights.

They had never seen anything like it.

I tried to take some pictures of them seeing the lights, but

I only managed to blind them with the flash and

annoy all of the cars around me as I was shooting

pictures like a crazy woman.

For the boys, every display was more exciting than the one before.

There were so many things for them to see.

By the end of our drive through the park,

P. declared, "I'm just tired.  I think I'll close my eyes

for a while."

It was with great happiness that I was able to tell him,

"Don't worry sweet heart.  We come every year, and next year

you will be with us."

I look forward to many, many more years of sharing the holidays

with my children.

Let It Snow

Let it snow,

let it snow,

let it snow.

After taking the time to build Frosty, 

the boys decided that the only thing more fun

than building a giant snowman was taking turns

knocking him over.

Ah snow, it never gets boring.

If.....

If my boys were in charge of

Bethlehem...

Baby Jesus might end up on the top of

the manger.  The camel and the donkey would run around the

stable yard.

If my boys were in charge of  Bethlehem,

the Three Wise men might use their gifts as guns,

the Shepard's might try to ride the sheep.

If my boys were in charge of Bethlehem,

the angel would flutter around making the

animals fly through the air.

Oh, if my boys had been in charge that first Christmas night

things might have been a lot more chaotic.

Thankfully, they're only in charge of the Little People's Manger Set

that sits on our dining room table.

Grandparents ROCK!!

Super big THANK YOU!!

to Papa and Cheryl.

Last week, they came over to watch

all four of the kids, so that

Jon and I could go out together and Christmas shop

for our little monkeys.

While we were gone, a good time was

had by all.

The kids enjoyed making and eating

a gingerbread house, while Jon and I enjoyed

some quality time out without four little

ones talking all at once. 

Thank you very much Dad and Cheryl!!

In the words of Baby J, "You da best."

Not Just A House

The word house is defined as a dwelling place.

A home is entirely different.  It is so much more than just a "dwelling" place.

My Mom made every place we ever lived feel like home.

Growing up, we lived in lots of different places.  My Mom's one desire

was to own a home.  It's all she ever wanted.

About two years, before she was diagnosed with cancer, she

and my father were able to buy their first home only a mile

away from where Jon and I lived.

Oh the dreams that my mother had for her house.  Retirement

near the grand kids, a place that the kids

could visit when they were teenagers.

Cancer doesn't just steal a loved one's life, it steals

their dreams.  It steals the dreams of a whole family, of

an extended family. It steals a future.  I have often questioned the

loss of my mother's life.  I have questioned the loss of her dreams, my father's dreams,

our family's dreams.

During this past year, my life, our lives, have had to change without my Mom.

We've had to make a new future.  Our dreams have had to change.

My Mom will never live down the street from her grand kids.

I will never again walk into her home, flop down on her couch, eat her food,

and just enjoy the comfort that comes from stepping into home.

Knowing she's there, her home is there, her love is there.

My kids will never grow up being able to drive over to Oma and Papa's house, spend

holidays there, cook meals there.  Those things will never happen.

I have had to grieve those losses.  My kids, my father, my husband, have all had

to say good bye not just to my mother but to the life that we had all hoped 

to have.

Today, my Mother's house sold. It sold to a young

teacher. It's her first  home.  She told my father how much she loved

the house, how she wasn't looking for a house, and then

she found my Mom's house.

Today, I had to say good-bye to the last place on this earth

my mother lived.  To the rooms that shared so many happy

memories, long talks, late nights, family holidays.

I had to say good-bye to the house that was not

just a "dwelling place", not just some walls and a roof, but

a sanctuary from the storms of life.  A warm and welcoming

refuge where my Mother's love, even after her death, could still

be felt. I will miss my Mom's home.  I will miss the future that

we will not share together.  I will miss

the memories that we will never make.

I will, forever, miss my Mom.

The Power of The Screen

Our kids don't really watch TV.  Not due to

some religious reason, or because we hate television.

While in foster care, our two older children,

 were never introduced

to anything but TV.  In our house a movie is a real treat.

So, after a very fun day in the snow with their friends, we

popped some popcorn, made some cocoa, and put

in a movie.  I have never seen seven children stay so still

and sit so quietly.  Ah, the power of the screen.

One Proud Young Man

This fall, we started sending our kids to a local

AWANA Club.  Last week,

P. completed all of the verses he needed to learn

to earn his Cubbies Vest and book.

He is so very proud of the work he's done.

So are we.

Last night, he wore his vest, grabbed his book, and

begged me to take his picture before he left for AWANA.

How could I resist.

Story Time

Sometimes, reading with a 

special Uncle

can make reading extra fun.

The Best Big Brother EVER!!!

My oldest son remembers well what it feels like

to be a foster child, to feel unloved, to feel unwanted.

That early pain has made him an extra sweet and sensitive young man.

It has made him a terrific big brother.

When he was five, he used to say to me, "Mommy,

I'm going to have a brother.  We're going to hold hands

and run while Daddy chases us."

When the Big K. loves, he loves with his whole heart, with

no reservations.  He is loyal and kind.  He LOVES P. and Baby

J.  He loves them with his whole heart.  He is amazingly kind

and patient with his younger brothers.

He takes the job of being Big Brother quite seriously.

He knows how much his younger brothers love him, and

he loves them right back.

On the day that the younger boys were adopted,

Big K. said to me, "Mommy, I prayed for a brother and

Jesus brought me two."

I am thankful, every day, for the example that my oldest son is to my

younger sons.  I am thankful that he loves them

so very much.  I love watching the three of them together as they

laugh, play, and run while Daddy chases them.

Christmas Ornament Idea

When I was little, there was a silhouette

hanging on the wall of my bedroom.  It was of my Mom from when she

was about eight or nine years old.  I used to look at that picture

and try to find ways that we looked alike.

I'd study her hair and nose, piecing together parts of myself.

She'd explain how her teacher had traced out her profile using

an overhead projector.  I was amazed. 

Last year, I used a light and some paper and did silhouettes of

the two older kids.  They cut out their profiles and glued them to paper.

My Mom loved them. I had meant to frame them, but then she got sicker, and

I got busier.  It never got done.

This year I read, on line, how to do silhouettes using a digital camera.

I thought I'd give it a try.

It was so much easier than using a light and paper taped to a wall.

Trying to decide what to do with my newly created profiles, I found a great idea

for making Christmas ornaments.

I thought these ornaments turned out really cute.

Here's what I did:

You need wooden shapes-I chose ornaments because it's Christmas time

Wood paint-I used Plaid with glitter in it

Mod Podge

a sponge brush

Some Christmas Ribbon

Print your profile to desired size, trace it onto

black card stock, cut it out.

Paint the wooden ornaments.  Use as many coats of paint as you want, just

make sure they dry between coats.  Once dry,

use the Mod Podge to glue picture onto ornaments.

Then cover the ornament and the picture with more Mod  Podge, to give

it a shiny look.

Once dry, string the ribbon and hang from the tree.

On the back of my ornaments, I wrote the child's name, age,

and year.

I'm thinking of doing one of these a year, so that the kids will be able to see how

much they've grown and changed with each year.

Maybe some day, their children will look at

the profiles trying to see pieces of themselves

in my children's faces.

Perhaps they will be amazed at what a digital camera and some

paint can do.

Oh Christmas Tree

Every year, we load up the kids, drive a little

way out into the country, and chop down our Christmas tree.

It's usually cold and snowy.  It's

always fun.

The kids have great ideas about

the perfect tree.

We hike through a huge field until we find

the perfect tree.

Jon measures it to make sure it

will fit through our door, in our house.

All of the kids take turns cutting down the

tree.

When the boys lived with us the first time,

we took them with us to chop down our

tree.  P. was only two years old.

Baby J. rode on Jon's back.

They were too young to remember that trip, so

this year, when they chopped the tree,

it was like they were doing it for the first time.

In our family, you can't just cut a tree.

You have to decorate it too.

Decorating always includes party treats.

Eggnog, Little Debbie treats,

cookies, whipped cream.

The decorating party is all sorts of fun.

The kids look forward to it every year.

The lights are strung, new ornaments are given

to each of the kids.

In our family, the Christmas season

officially begins!!