Double Digits

I think of his birth mother often. Wonder what she was feeling, 

thinking, hoping, when she gave birth to him.

In an age where abortions are available, she made the

choice to bring him into this world. She already had

an infant at home. His sister was only one year one

week old when he joined her.

I don't know much about his early years. I know he was 

abused, neglected, diagnosed as a "failure to thrive" baby.

I know, that by the age of four, he'd lived through

a lot more "stuff" than a lot of adults will ever have to live through.

I remember the moment that he first stole my heart.

Jon and I went to his preschool for a visit. The case workers, social workers,

and teachers felt that it would be best that we saw him in a school

setting.  He was super excited, and in his excitement had punched another

child and had to be removed from the classroom.

When we arrived, his therapist brought him back in.

He was antsy, anxious, and thrilled to have visitors that were there just for him.

His teacher genuinely cared for him. You could see it in her face,

in her eyes, and in the way that she scooped him right

up into her lap.  She looked at us, explained

that he had a lot of challenges, but that she believed

all he really needed was a Mama.

"Once he has a Mama, all of this other stuff will go away."

We spent the morning with him.  We sat through circle time, project and center

time, and then lunch time.  When it was nap time, we sat next to him as he

lay on his cot.  He looked up at us with such joy, trust, anticipation.

As I was rubbing his head, and he was starting to fall asleep,

he looked at me and said, "Don't leave me Jennie. Please don't leave me."

At that moment I knew, whether good or bad, that the Big K.

held my heart. That he will always hold my heart.

I wish, often, that his preschool teacher could see him now.

I wish she could know how right she was.

All he needed was a Mama, a home, some love.

Last week, we had the joy of celebrating this remarkable young man's birthday.

We had the joy of welcoming in his double digits.

The Big K. is a blessing and a joy in our family.

His love and compassion is limitless. His patience and kindness knows

no boundaries.  He is a wonderful person.

I look forward to many more years with him.

I am so thankful for the years that I have been given, and I know that no

matter where he goes, what he does, who he grows into, he will 

always, ALWAYS, hold my heart in his hand.