Holy Smokers

In the words of the Big K, "Holy

Smokers".  Holy smokers it's been a long

time since I've been on our blog.

We have been busy with the business of living this past fall.

With a more hands on school

schedule, a parade of therapy for Baby J., and

four growing kids, we've been plain ole' busy.

I must confess though, that time isn't the only

thing that's kept me away from the blog.

Fall is hard for me.

It's been almost two years since my Mom died.

Everything about the fall reminds me of her.

It reminds me of before she was sick, when she

found out she was dying, and then that

day, almost two years ago when she went home

to Jesus.

I miss her so much as the leaves change,

as the nights grow chilly,

as the holidays approach.

I miss her so much as we get ready to celebrate the 

adoption of our four children.

I think of how much she loved being a grandmother, and how

much fun she had celebrating EVERYTHING with the kids.

Even after two years, life happens,

and I want to talk with her about it.

Even after two years I miss her advice.

I miss her laugh.

I miss just talking with her about everything.

I miss talking with her about nothing.

I don't think a day goes by when I don't think of her.

Don't wonder what life would be like now,

if she were here.

This year is easier than last.  Next year will be easier than

this one.  I don't believe, though, that I will ever

not miss her, not think of her, not want to talk with her.

As my life moves forward, our children grow, another year

enters it's final months, there is one thing

that I remain FOREVER thankful for.

My family. My husband, our children, the home that 

we've made for them, for us,

and for the love that we all share.

Although a part of my heart is missing, although I 

dread the anniversary of her death, the holidays without her,

I remain eternally thankful for ALL that I have been given.