If You Were Here

If you were here, I would tell you how

Pastor Sam drove all the way up here

to visit Dad. He brought the most delicious

Red Velvet Cake. You would have

loved it.

I would tell you how we put bird feeders

outside of our kitchen window.
I even used the one that you bought me for
my birthday a long time ago. We're having
so much fun watching the
birds (and squirrels) eating
the food.
I would tell you how Kim sent me the sweetest
card, and in it she put two pictures of her kids.
The first thing I wanted to do was show you their pictures.
They've gotten so big, but then I remembered you
were gone.
If you were here, I'd share with you
how Chris and Elaine sent us a package
from the popcorn factory.
The note attached made me cry.
It was so kind.
I would tell you how I bought tea called
Comfort and Joy, because that's
what I need right now.
I'm not even sure if I'll like it, but
I just need comfort and joy.
I would tell you all about the Adirondack Cheese shop.
You would have loved it, not just because of
the cheese, but because of all the
cute stuff the store had.
Dad bought lots of little candles
he thought you might enjoy.
I would tell you all about our trip to the Soda
Fountain. Even though you weren't there
with us, you were.
You were there in the dirty look that Doodles gave
Papa. You were there in the
silly paper folding the Big K. did.
We all looked at the booth that we sat in the last
time you were there with us, after the scenic railroad.
Doodles asked me to take a picture of mustard,
because it made her think of you.
Big K. ate lots of mustard because
you loved mustard.
But mostly, you were with us today
in our smiles, as we tried to
have fun without crying.
As we tried to make new memories
that don't exclude you, but include
you. As we all shared how much we miss you.
Mom, if you were here today, I would
share all of these things with you.
Mostly, I would tell you how much I miss you.
I would tell you that I wish you were back,
not sick, but how you were before the cancer.
I would tell you once again how very much I love
you.