One Last Night Out

On Wednesday, November 4th,

Jon and I celebrated our children's one

year adoption anniversary.

We had a very fun evening at

Chuck E. Cheese, a place we visited

frequently with the kids while

we were visiting them in Boston.

Because it was their anniversary, they

picked out where we would eat, so of course they picked

Chuck E. Cheese.

My Dad was planning on joining us for dinner and some

games, and as he was leaving the house, my

Mom woke up and said, "I want to go too."

Throughout this past month, my Mom had gotten

weaker and weaker. She was sleeping more, eating

less, and she was less able to do things that she loved.

So it was quite a treat for her to join us.

She came in a wheel chair. She couldn't walk.

She was so very tired and so very weak,

but she wanted to be there for us,

for the kids.

She sat with us at the table. Smiled at the kids

and did her best to enjoy some juice and pizza.

She really couldn't eat.

Cancer had ravaged her body.

Despite her body's weakness, she could

still smile. I had no idea that trip to Chuck E. Cheese, would be

her last out of the house. The picture with our

kids would be the last one that we ever took.

One week later, on November 11, at 7:03am,

my Mom passed away.

I can't even describe the way that my heart hurts.

I can't even describe the pain of watching my children

cry as they said good-bye, of hearing my Dad's sobs as he

held her for the last time.

I still can't believe that she's gone. Although

she is no longer with us, I know that she is with Jesus.

I like to picture her laughing and walking the way

that she used to. I know that her body is healed, it is whole again.

I'm so thankful that I had the honor of holding her hand, telling her

I loved her, and being with her as she took her last

breath on earth and her first breath in heaven.

If she has a computer in heaven, and she can read

this blog, this is what I would tell her:

Mom, I love you more than you will ever know.

I am the person that I am because of you.

Thank you for loving me for who I am, for loving Dad,

and for doing all that you did to make my

childhood so wonderful. You are my best friend.

I miss your laugh, your smile, you.

I can't begin to imagine the future without you, so I don't.

I take one breath at a time. I take one step at

a time. I move forward, because that's what you

would want me to do.

Mom, I love you.