Last week, I decided to make marshmallows
with the kids. I remember a missionary couple
that made marshmallows one afternoon with my parents.
Until then, I never thought of making home
made marshmallows. I never really knew you could.
I found a great recipe, on the Internet. You can find
anything on the computer now.
I enlisted my little helper, and we started making
marshmallows together.
We gathered our ingredients, stirred everything
together, cooked what needed cooking, and had
an overall great time. Baby J. was so proud of the work he'd done.
I'm a home schooling parent. I was never home schooled.
I don't have any friends that were home schooled. I started home schooling
my oldest two children out of necessity, not because I had a huge religious
conviction to do so. Not because I have anything against public schools.
For the past four years, I have used a boxed curriculum to teach
the kids. It's big, it has a lot of stuff in it, they've learned a lot.
For some reason, this year, our curriculum just isn't working for us.
No matter how hard I pushed, what rewards or consequences
I set up, the work just wasn't getting done.
Worse, their love of learning was being extinguished.
They dreaded each day. They hated the school work that came with it.
As I made marshmallows with my youngest two children,
I realized that what was happening in our home, because of
school just wasn't right.
Things needed to change.
I tend to be a very goal oriented person. My Mom used to tell
me that I'd focus on a goal, put blinders on, and then work like
heck to accomplish what I'd set out to do. It was that
sort of goal setting that caused me to graduate college with a 4.0
average. It was that sort of goal setting that led me to become a successful
teacher. It was that sort of goal setting that enabled me to do what needed to be done
to adopt our children.
Not everyone is me. Not everyone has single minded determination. Not
everyone is as hard on themselves as I am. I expect hard work from myself.
I was expecting it from my children.
I was focusing on the goal and forgetting about the journey.
The journey through the only childhood that they will ever have.
The journey of making memories, laughing, snuggling, learning,
exploring. I have long heard of "unschooling". I have
been in MANY heated debates with parents that have chosen this
road for their children. Because of my training and experience
as an educator, I saw no use in unschooling.
It was not for me.
I have come to realize that it may be just what my
children need.
More than anything, I want my kids to want to learn.
I want them to be curious.
I want them to savor each and every moment of their lives.
I want them to have memories that they will be able
to draw on for the rest of their lives.
I want them to be able to go to college if that's what they want, but
I want them to enjoy the journey that has led them to that point.
This week, I have changed my approach. I have thrown away
the 300lb. curriculum. I have loosened up. I have taken off
my goal directed blinders. I have come to realize that we
all need a little fun in our lives. The journey is more important than the destination.
I don't know if unschooling will ever be my thing, but I do know that this week
my kids have told me how much fun they're having. This week,
we're laughing more and fighting less.
For now, this may be what works for us.
What works the best for them. In the end, it has to be what's best for them.
Who knows, maybe I'll become one of those unschooling Mamas
that I always swore I would never be.
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